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“Created Different to Be Complimentary to Each Other”

The bodies of men in the bodies of women were created differently so they complimented each other, so that the union of the two would bring a conception which would bring a living Soul into the world. In his wisdom and mercy, Our Father made men and women dependent on each other for the full flowering of their potential!

The nature of male and female Spirits is such that they complete each other. By Divine Design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. And the sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

Before we were born, male and female, we made certain commitments and was sent to come to this Earth with great, rich, but different gifts. We were called, male and female, to do great works with separate approaches and separate assignments. There is order in God’s creation. He created the man as the Head, the women as a Help meet, then the children. Equal in spirit but in our physical body he created position for our assignments.

Men and women have different gifts, different strengths common different points of view and inclinations. That is one of the fundamental reasons why we need each other. It takes a man and a woman to create a family, and it takes men and women to carry out the work of the Lord.

I believe that when the male and female treat each other as equals, they both greatly benefit from their differences. By respecting each other’s vastly different perspectives, and building their lives on the wisdom of those different perspectives, they grow together much wiser and stronger than either would ever be by themselves. But when each person ignores the other’s perspective, making choices that benefit him or her independently, they lose that Advantage which leads to unhappiness in their relationship.

I believe that men/women can stand in equal balance together when they understand God’s principle. One does not stand above superior to the other. They are metaphysically equal in importance yet they are opposite in purpose /function.

Within the balance which is also a name for love their lies a Universal purpose for both the man and the woman. A man’s purpose is to secure a woman; a woman’s purpose is to reproduce the man. This is another way to say, divide the one and unite the two. Our purpose is related to our sexual Nature’s as is our love.

Yes we think differently, we process emotions differently, we make decisions differently and we learn differently; and yet men and women complement one another so beautifully that a healthy relationship makes both Partners more complete.

When we don’t understand our purpose/ design/assignments. We fall. United we stand!

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“Stop Forcing Your Children to Choose Between Mommy and Daddy”

Let go of control. Years after my divorce, my ex-husband and I still disagree about some of the same things we didn’t agree about when we were married. But we’ve reached a place of mutual respect and effective co-parenting for our two sons.

Divorce can bring out the worst in us. I am the first to admit that; perhaps there’s lingering hurt because one person left, or someone cheated, or someone fell out of love.

But whatever the reason that prompts a split, it’s never okay to drag kids through the mud. Obviously you don’t have to agree or even have to like each other very much, Co-parenting does not require a friendship but it will require your cooperation.

I live this every day and I understand that it’s a complicated issue but the cause and effect can be multiple. Children do not have prior knowledge or skills, so they look for someone to imitate. That “someone” is usually one or both parents. Parents are the first role models and teachers, and children are affected more by what their parents do and say. The example of what a child has before them (whether good or bad) may become the standard that a child uses for the rest of their life.

It is imperative after divorce that you take time to heal fully from the pain of divorce if you plan to Co- parent effectively. After my divorce I had to stop denying first that this was happening to me, before I could take the necessary time to grieve the end of our relationship, our life, our marriage. I didn’t want the ugliness of our divorce to run my life or effect our sons’. I had to remember that at one time, I loved and cared for their father.

Choosing to forgive is the greatest thing that I could ever do. When people hurt or offend you, you can choose to respond either with anger that will harm you and your children, or choose to walk through the forgiveness that God calls us all to pursue. I had to work hard to separate my emotional response to my ex’s reactions and seek solutions, not retaliations. It was not without wise counseling that I accepted the challenge to be the voice of reason, rather than of reaction, so that I could move forward and provide a healthy environment for our children.

Although there is no ” typical divorce” and no “magical formula” for ensuring positive Child & Family outcomes, and every child and family are unique, there is some general principles for successful Co-parenting that apply to most, if not all, divorcing families.

Be there for your children, both physically and emotionally, speak about and act in a respectful manner towards the other parent especially in front of your children conveying an attitude of respect toward your Co-parent this is vital to a Child well-being. Trust me ongoing conflict cuts to the heart of a child well-being as children see themselves as essentially half their mother and half their father keep this in the forefront of all interactions between you and the other parent in front of the child.

Talk with your children about the divorce above all, children need to know that they will not be abandoned, physically or emotionally by either of their parents. Also the greatest advice one divorcee to another I can give is to let your children be children. Don’t involve your children in adult problems; rather, maintain continuity in their existing routines and relationships, and shelter them from the struggles that are properly the responsibility of their parents!

I would suggest if you are unable to communicate without resorting to conflict and recriminations, a parallel parenting plan in which Co- parenting Arrangements can spell out in detail an agreed upon schedule. Church  ⛪, Family members, friends and informal support networks are vital in the beginning with helping parents work through difficult feelings, including anger management, and the multiple challenges and transitions.

Trust me there is Life After Divorce! Your future is bright! Maintain your own health and well-being as a priority. Taking care of yourself is essential not only for you but for your children’s well-being. Your children depend on you, and you owe it to them to prioritize your own physical, emotional and mental health.

You never know what surprise life will bring, years post our Divorce. We pursued a business together called XCARDS for Ex-Relationships; Not Together But Never Forgotten. Our greeting cards act as an olive branch that promotes forgiveness, healing, or maybe even restoration. Visit us xcardsgreetings.com. We truly are an example of what we sell.